Right now, I'm in a place where I don't know what I want. I sick of having really great days and then binging days. I'm also confused by working out and gaining weight and then not working out and losing weight. Sure, it's muscle mass, but then is working out even worth it? I can eat almost 3000 calories in one day, not work out, and still gain only half a pound. I guess I'm just confused by my body. I'm not sure how it works, I'm not sure what I want - do I want to maintain a "healthy" weight? Do I want to be skinny - but hungry - all the time?? I just don't know. I'm understanding that when I eat very little that creates a deficit, and so I binge and gain a bunch of weight, and then it goes away after a day or so. I just wish I knew where I'm comfortable and what "perfect" is for ME. I know I want to be skinny, just not HOW skinny. I want to have boobs and hips and a narrow little waist. I want to feel beautiful and sexy. How do I get there? Eat, don't eat? Exercise, don't exercise? I'm at a loss right now. I don't know what to do.
-Lita
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