It took me awhile to post this because I wanted to make sure this is how I feel and I also wanted to think about how I am to break this to all of you. I have decided that being super skinny is no longer my goal. My goal is to maintain a healthy BMI for my height, my preference being a BMI of 18.5, putting me at a weight of 122 pounds. I am a woman, and I want to look like one - when I lose lots of weight, my boobs disappear, and I don't have that much for breasts the way it is! I would rather keep them. However...
This year for me, which has been full of weird and often unhealthy eating habits and inconsistent workout routines, has taught me a lot. I now know I have the tools to lose as much weight as I want, whenever I want, and that I have the will power. Many people say starving yourself is just awful - however, as many fasting advocates will attest, you get to know yourself SO MUCH through starvation. You understand your body more. You gain knowledge. That is what I have walked away with after years of struggling with food and body image and well... you've heard all of it before. No doubt I will continue to struggle and my goals will change again. All I know is right now...
I want to be healthy, and I am going to do my best to be healthy by staying at a healthy (but sexy!!) weight. However, I now know I have the power to transform my body into anything I desire. And that is truly amazing.
p.s... the pictures of me are from a photo shoot I did with my sister this summer in South Dakota :)